Oh gosh, I don't even know where to start! .... After like two weeks of work I was able to enjoy a much needed weekend alone with my wonderful husband. Work was hard, I'd have random spasms that lasted a minute or two and then would go away. As long as I was listening to my body and would work in a chair, during the day I would be fine. But then I started being woke up in middle of the night from intense terrible stabs on my right side. Any time I would move in my sleep it would wake me up. It was horrible. But after holding completely still for a minute or two it would go away enough for me to relax and fall asleep again.....if I could. After our wonderful weekend Monday was our 8 week ultrasound. This would be the last one until we met with our Infertility Doctor at 9 weeks and we would GRADUATE! Oh my YAY! So Monday was great. For the first time, we heard the babies heartbeat. Oh. My. Amazing. I totally bawled. How beautiful. I wanted to listen to it all day long. My ovaries were still very large and my nurse said that that is what would still be causing my pain. I also had the beginning of a Urinary Tract Infection and so that pretty much was enough for me to hear. My UTI's make me terribly sick and have me on the floor in pain, so really we figured that it was a mixture of that and the ovary causing the grief. Hearing that heartbeat though, really made all the bad and ugly not be so bad and ugly any more. The next morning around six I woke up with again terrible right sided pain. But this was the worst it had been. I couldn't help from crying and grasping the sides of the bed trying to gain control or any relief. I had Bailey call the after hours Infertility line who told him that they wanted me to come in first thing that morning. See, the clinic is three hours away. We had just made the 6 hour drive round trip the day before. We were NOT thrilled to do that again. So Bailey, thinking it is just an attack of my ovaries gave me 2 of my Oxycodone and I was able to fall asleep. It wasn't but two hours later that I woke again with incredible pain. I told Bailey that this was not right, it just did not feel right. I couldn't handle this any longer and I felt like we needed to go the the Emergency Room. Bailey called the Infertility Center since by now they were open and talked to my nurse who told him to get me in the the ER immedietly. I could hardly walk and nausea was overtaking me. But I blame that on the Oxycodone since I was also pretty much floating and spinning at the same time. We got to the the ER where after a couple of minutes they got me back to a room. The attack had worn off for now so I was able to calm down and breathe :) Once back in the room they had me strip and get into a gown. I sat on the bed where they retrieved my vitals and then told us that I would need an IV. I think by this time another attack had come on and so they were anxious to get not only some pain meds in me but also some Zofran for my nausea. Of course the IV was a piece of work and I think that they only had to poke me twice to get it. But I was so engrossed in the pain of my ovary that I wasn't paying any attention to the IV. That was a blessing. I blame the medications for the fuzzy remembrance of this time but I will tell you as much as I can possibly remember. So if it sounds kinda scrambled, it's because of the fuzzy memory while I was a druggie. Because my pain was a 10 (or to me a 15), they gave me the strongest they had....stronger than Morphine. Dilaudid. Oh yes. The sacred Dilauded. I had heard plenty about this amazing drug from my husband when he was going through cancer. He LOVED....loved is probably even an understatement....but he really loved this stuff. So I was feeling pretty good about the fact that they were going to be giving me it and felt confident it would cover my pain and I would be able to sleep. For the past 2 hours I had been trying not to cry because that only made the pain worse, so I was very anxious for it to be gone! They put 1 mL through my IV and I continued to cry and squirm. Not much longer they gave me another 1 mL and Bailey kept asking me, almost in an unbelievable tone, "Are you really not feeling it? You don't even feel it going to your head? You don't feel anything?" I felt nothing. Nothing. Not one bit of relief. After 4 mL in I think a half hour to maybe 45 min and still no relief I seriously thought, "My goodness, what in the world is going on!?" I felt terrible as I could do nothing but cry and shreak as my poor husband, feeling so helpless, just sat there in agony. He later told me that all he was able to have was I think 1 mL ever two hours and I had had 4 times that in less than one hour. I kinda felt really bad to be doing this to not only my little body but to my new baby. An ultrasound had been ordered and so that wasn't fun. The pushing and prodding didn't help at all. In the ultrasound they of course saw my very large orange like ovaries covered with cysts. Which we didn't know about at all. They wanted to see if they could see my appendix but because of my huge ovary loves to be center of attention, they were unable to. All this time I was itching like crazy and soon found that it was from all the Dilaudid. Bailey had gotten me a cold washcloth which I loved and I had been wiping myself down with it. I found that rubbing my face (especially my nose) seriously felt amazing. I would just rub and rub and rub. When the nurse found out I was crazy itchy she came in and gave me Benedryl and that, that my friends, is what knocked me out. That is when my love for Benedryl first started. I was out for I don't even know how long but awoken by a Dr telling me our options. I of course couldn't keep my eyes open and Bailey had left I think to get some breakfast while I was somewhat sedated. He returned not long after the Dr had got there and there they discussed our options. They then admitted me and took me to the Med/Surg floor. It wasn't until later that I found that Bailey and the Doc had discussed the options of what could be done, all the pros and cons. The Dr felt that it could be my appendix. Later we also had ideas that maybe it was kidney stones. We had also let them know that I was on medication for a UTI. But to really find out the problem we would have to do a CT scan, but the radiation could harm the baby or they could do a Laproscopy, which the anesthesia could also harm the baby. Bailey felt that it would be best to wait it out for a bit and see what happens, with the hopes that it would pass. After everything we had been through, he of course, was not ready to hurt the baby or even chance it. This hospital stay was terrible. I honestly couldn't believe how terrible the service was. They served such terrible food (tater tots I couldn't even break open with my fingers) and with each new nurse I got we had to fight for pain medication. I seriously mean fight and with each one we lost. I would have an attack, lay there crying and squirming and the nurse would NOT give me anymore Dilaudid. Working in a hospital I knew the importance of pain control and was getting oober upset that they were not making me comfortable. I had orders for 2 mL every 2 hours. When I would be having an insane attack they would only give me 1 mL. I totally knew that other patients could hear me crying and yet the nurses refused saying, "I'm just not comfortable giving you that much." So for some stupid reason they didn't feel "comfortable" with Doctors orders, thinking they were smarter than he. We would tell them that I had three times as much in the ER but even then they would tell us that they didn't feel comfortable. Finally our Dr came in during an episode and straight up told the nurse to give it to me, like what were they waiting for. You could see the annoyed look in the nurses eyes, but I was so grateful. But of course that was a one time deal. Nurses wouldn't stay on top of my pain and so my pain wasn't managed one bit. They would just stay away from my room as I squirmed in bed in agony, knowing that if they would just give me medication I'd be able to tolerate it. On Monday at the Infertility Center I mentioned that we had discovered that I had a beginning of a UTI. I had had one once but with the first test my urine showed not one trace of an infection. It wasn't until the following Monday (after a long weekend) that they found out with a second test that indeed I had a UTI. Mine are so different. I was dry heaving and dizzy and so nauseated. All from a UTI. After the second or third attack after being admitted we asked the nurse if I was receiving anything for my UTI. "You have a UTI?" She didn't even KNOW that I had one. It was never passed on. This was only the beginning, too, of people not listening to us. So I was put on an antibiotic for my UTI, finally. With each attack, I hated putting my husband through this. He would get so angry and frustrated because there was nothing he could do. It was so hard for both of us. Men like to fix things and women just need comfort. So it was hard because Bailey would get frustrated that he couldn't do anything to help me and he felt that the hospital would do that for him, but not even that was working. So I can understand his frustration. That night I got the best nurse that I had had yet. I told her what had been going on and that I felt that if we stayed on top of the medication that I wouldn't have the attacks. I asked her to please wake me up each time my medication was due, which was every 4 hours. Each time she would give me the full amount. I was able to sleep through the night and woke up even feeling so much better. After being there two days they decided to put me back on Oxycodone and say goodbye. Neither of us felt ready or good about this, but that was that and we were discharged. That night I was awake late and after a can of chicken noodle soup took the numerous pills they had given me. Right after I felt as though one had gotten lodged in the middle of my throat. I had warmed up another can of soup but as soon as I took one spoonful I became incredibly nauseated. I took some nausea medication and soon fell asleep. Some time early in the morning I awoke and still felt terrible. Bailey, the great guy he is, thought that what I explained could be heartburn. So he set me up a nice bed on the couch in our room, so I could sleep sitting up. I woke up feeling the same way, still feeling like there was something lodged and in turn it was making me feel oober nauseated. Bailey made some german pancakes which I hoped would force the pill down. And even after eating the feeling had not gone away. It felt like there was a huge blockage right in middle of my chest that needed to be gotten out. I couldn't handle it any longer so I went to the bathroom and after a few tries I was able to throw up.....a TON. I kept my eyes closed bc I have a strong love for german pancakes and didn't want this to ruin that love. After the sink running for a good couple of minutes I opened my eyes thinking it would for sure be gone. Holy throw up. That was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. And not only that, but it was bad enough to be throwing up "sweet." That isn't how it is supposed to be. So after a good time spent in the bathroom I shakily found my way back to the couch where my nice bed was. Once back and settled the feeling of something being lodged was STILL. THERE. After a long morning and afternoon I decided to call the hospital. My discharge papers said that if there was any nausea or vomiting that I needed to call. So after talking to three different people I was told that I needed to once again, come in to the ER. Ughhhh. It being a Friday I had of course tried to call my Dr first, but of course he was out of the office by 12:30. So once again we were on our way to the ER. I of course was crying, apologizing and feeling terrible for putting my husband through all of this. He wasn't able to work or help me or do anything So once again we are in the ER, telling the nurse the new stuff going on. Again it only took two pokes to get my IV. I think this was just going to be the norm from now on. After some Zofran and an EKG the ER Dr came in. After telling him our whole story he came and felt my right side, which really had been feeling better. But the places he pushed really hurt. I of course jumped and squirmed. He started talking about my right sided pain and we asked what about my chest (you know, the whole reason we are coming in....AGAIN?). He told us that he was more worried about my right side pain. So that was the end of my chest story. And we again went through everything all again. Our options and everything else. I was then taken down to the Ultrasound place where we would again try to locate my appendix. This ultrasound was AMAZING! We got to see the baby moving and it's nubs of feet and arms moving! It even had one of its arms all over the place and I think it was waving :) The lady was able to locate my appendix as far as she could tell. Once we were out of the room our Dr met us. He had us step over to the side of the hall and told us that my white blood count was again high, this time 20,000. The first admission it was at 18 and got down to 12. Now we were back up. He told us there that he believed it was the appendix and that surgery had to be done. That we couldn't leave it in me or it could lead to death of not only the baby, but me as well. This was very painful to hear and I just looked down as he talked, trying to hold the tears back. I tried keeping any negative thoughts from entering my mind. So we sadly were taken back to the ER room and there were prepared for surgery. We called our mothers to pass on the word so that we could receive all the prayers we possibly could. We called the Infertility Center to let them know, and they seemed to not be concerned about this at all. ??? So many people had been telling us of how the narcotics and anesthesia could harm our baby. But then it clicked. I had been drained three times and each time received some form of anesthesia. They apparently weren't worried about the baby. Bailey was able to call Dr Foulk, our Infertility Dr, who told him that there really should be no harm to the baby. So for the past 4 days we had been scared out of our minds of all the narcotics and such that I had been filled with, being told that this could harm my baby and lead to miscarriage and now we hear that really we have nothing to worry about. Just one more frustration, especially with the thought of all the pain that I was made to sit through because the nurses didn't feel right about it. So, now I was at least a bit more comfortable with the surgery. The anesthesiologist came in and really reassured us like our Dr did and told us of everything that would go on. I really wasn't super nervous, even though this was my first surgery. The only thing that was really bothering me was the terrible discomfort in my chest. After voicing this with the anesthesiologist he gave me this very sour stuff that I had to drink. He made it sound terrible, but I actually liked it, and it seemed to make it completely go away. Yay! One thing gone, finally! They took me back to the surgery room and there we went through a few things. They placed SCD's on me which are pads that wrap around your legs and pump up to prevent blood clots. Not after long of being in the freezing room I was given the medication to fall asleep and it took not more than two seconds and I couldn't open my eyes. Now THAT was a good feeling. I soon woke up to see a clock read 10:30 pm and the OR nurse standing next to me doing something. I was there for a while and then wheeled up to my room where apparently I had fallen asleep because I woke up to Bailey giving me a kiss. I slept through the night and woke up the next morning and not long after I was having yet ANOTHER attack. And of course we went through the same thing with this nurse. I cannot even explain my frustration. My incisions on my stomach weren't hurting one bit but here I am seriously dying with pain and she wouldn't give it to me. Finally she gave me 1 mL and it didn't even touch it. After crying in bed for almost an hour, I was seriously going to pee the bed. I told Bailey that I really didn't know what to do because I could not move. And I was also too afraid to try. Bailey went and told the CNA to get a bedpan. I didn't even care. It hurt to be holding it in and I had to do something about it NOW. So they both helped me on to it and already the pain started to subside. I seriously sat on that bedpan for around 20-30 minutes. The CNA had come in three times to ask if I was done and each time received the same answer, "Nope." I don't think I have ever peed so much in my life. So much, that it totally overflowed. Disguisting, I know, but that just tells you how full I was and how terribly it hurt. All the while the nurse just staying away from my room, ignoring my cry of pain. It wasn't long after this that I called the nurse again and she finally gave me the other mL of Dilaudid. AFTER my attack had settled down. That afternoon our Dr came in and told us that they were sending us to U of U's hospital, by ambulance. They said there they would be able to do more tests and find out what really was going on. For the longest time I tried talking them out of an ambulance ride, but that would be going against medical advice. I was so upset. They said the ambulance would be here in an hour. A half hour later they came and advised me that I would be going to IMC in Murray instead, for insurance purposes so that was courteous of them. When Bailey found out the ambulance would be there in an hour he abruptly left to get cleaned up and also file an extension on our taxes, since we now weren't going to be able to do them. He made it back just in time to help me onto the stretcher. So away I go for a three to four hour drive to Salt Lake because pretty much they were sick of me (thank goodness) and had no idea what to do for me. The ride wasn't bad and I can't lie, I was grateful to be able to lay down and be taken care of the entire way. Once there we were taken up to a really really nice room and I thought in my head, "Oh man, these are gonna be some pretty bills." I had worked for IHC for a year and a half previously and very good things were said about the one in Murray. So I was definitely comfortable to be in their hands. I had high hopes that we would get everything figured out. Once the nurse got to my IV she had no idea what to do with it. The things that Vernal had used were so old and out of date that they had nothing to hook up to it. Because they weren't sure what to do with it, they gave me two shots in my bum cheek that they had to push in slowly and it hurt incredibly bad. So bad that it hurt for I think about a month after! Well, I think that they found something that they thought would work so that they didn't have to pull and replace my IV. I was grateful for that. The chick Dr finally arrived after forever and pretty much straight up told us that it sounds like what was going on was my appendix and that I would prob be able to leave the next day.... Um, excuse me? I don't think there was good communication through this whole experience. We asked a few questions that the Dr didn't really answer. She told us that she made sure that anything I might need during the night was already in my dr's orders so that she wouldn't get a call in middle of the night. She was training for some marathon and let us know that she didn't want her sleep to be interrupted. I'll leave you to your own comments. I'm sure by now that you know perfectly well how we were feeling. I will just say that I wanted to punch her in the face. Frustrated and confused, we finally relaxed and fell asleep. During the night my IV started to kind of hurt and was leaking quite a bit. I had been infiltrated in the past (when the needle comes out of the vein and fills your skin with fluid) to the point of where I woke up with the size of a baseball on the inside of my wrist, and it hurt like the dickens. So in fear of this happening again I called for the nurse. The IV had gone bad and infiltration was beginning. She said that she would have to place another one. Now, Bailey and I did mention that we were told we were leaving the next day and so we didn't know if another IV was particularly necessary. We also noted that maybe they should call the Dr ;) haha, but we told them that really we felt that we didn't need to go through all the trouble of placing another one when I was leaving so soon. The next morning, bright and early at 6 a.m in came our Dr to tell us that the test results were fine and so I was able to leave anytime. We were so pissed and confused why I just took an ambulace ride to another hospital to stay the night.... We asked if results were back on my appendix, which apparently they were not. But she told us that she had had invitro and had experienced enlarged ovaries before. I flipped! Finally someone who had gone through what I did! I said, "You had hyper stimulation of your ovaries!?" "Ya" she replied, all laid back and cool about it. I didn't believe her, "Wait," I said, "You had ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome!?" She replied, "Ya, it's normal and didn't hurt that bad." As we continued asking questions we found for ourselves that she really had no idea what we were talking about, but she did let us know that I just probably had a "low tolerance for pain" and really I was fine. She also let us know that our insurance wasn't the best and we were going to get slammed with huge bills. Because I was about to now punch her in HER uterus and was fuming with anger, I kept my mouth shut so she would get the heck out of my room. We figured that since we hadn't been there even a full day that we would just leave after dinner. I got showered up for the most part. I scrubbed and scrubbed trying to get that stinking iodine off my belly and had a wonderful nurse to help me get ready to leave. I received a brace for the ride home, which I was very thankful for. It was a bumpy ride and that was definitely a blessing for my new sutures. I didn't mention that I had three. Two on my left side and one right under my belly button. This was because when they did the surgery they wanted to look around to make sure there wasn't anything else in there that could be causing any problems that maybe they were unable to see in the ultrasound. This story could go another hour and a half of even more that we continued to go through. Of more miscommunication, of how in the end my appendix really was fine, and now fixing the screw up with all the bills and insurance. But! It's all ok because I have a beautiful baby in my belly that I am anxious to show off. How in love with this little one I am! My clothes don't fit and yesterday I ripped a pair of my jeans and I love it. Well not the price of maternity clothes....I have yet to go shopping for some. Vernal has nothing. But I am two days shy of being 18 weeks and I have started to feel this bugger making quite a commotion in my belly. Each time I feel the baby move I want to cry. It is my most favorite thing in this whole world. I love it. Bailey and I have our very own child growing in my belly. I am SO SO HAPPY. At our nine week appt with the Infertility Center we got to see our baby moving SO much. We were told that they had never seen anything like it, I'm guessing at such an early age. It was amazing. It keeps getting better. We were able to graduate and are now preparing for this little one to enter out lives. I am so excited for the next 5 1/2 months. I am so anxious to meet this beautiful child of ours. I am sorry to those of you who have been so supportive and have kept up with my blog. To all of you who have been praying for me and continuously checking to see how I am, only to find no new post. It's been hard to write this and I honestly am ready to forget all of the above. Stay tuned for a pic of my growing belly and to find out the sex :)
I apologize now for the numerous errors. I had to force myself to finally finish this after I started it a month ago. And I don't want to go back through it to edit it. :) Love to everyone from the Pulsiphers!
