Something Messy

So once we figured out we could do it we followed our IVF Coordinator downstairs to her office.  There we went over what our life was going to be for the next two months.  She gave us a January and February calendar, each day filled with things to do, not to do, appts and plenty of other such things.  She taught me how I would be doing the shots and by the end of our meeting I was completely overwhelmed.  I started to feel like I couldn't do this and was not ready.  I starting digging for some upliftment asking her if she felt like we were ready.  She assured me that we were and advised me to look at the calendar "one day at a time."  After the meeting we went back up stairs and ran our card for $9200 and signed for it.... that was a crazy receipt   Yes, $9200.  Oh yes, I forgot to mention.  A couple days before our appointment, I received a reminder call.  Since I was at work they left a message.  The message was just reminding us of our appointment and what all we needed to have there, including $9200...not $8000.  Wait, what?  I had just went through a huge mess of getting a loan for $8000 and now, a couple days before it is due, you are telling me that it is actually $9200?  Yes, by this time I am livid and freaking out.  See I work at a bank.  I had thought that getting a loan wouldn't be any problem.  But since I hadn't worked there for super long and Bailey hadn't had his job for super long the didn't feel that it was responsible to give us a loan for that amount.  So with time running short on us we worked something out with my parents with the plan that we would pay them for a loan that they are cosigners with us.  Well that didn't work either.  So they pulled from their own line of credit and this would be paid back when we could get the loan.  So I have just figured everything out, got the money FROM my parents and now I find out that, "Oh wait, I need another $1200."  Oh that's cool.  So I call the clinic and it turns out that they decided that we would need something called ICSI.  ICSI is where they manually take the strongest sperm and implant it in the egg, rather than take a bunch of sperm and let it FIND the egg.  This is a pretty cool procedure that you can watch on YouTube if you type "ICSI Procedure."  Anyways, they felt like this would give us the best results.  Which is great and all, if I would've known a week before.  Thank goodness we had the extra $1200 in our acct which is what we would have to do.  I called the center back and turns out that well I guess, they just decide to do this with our "OK" or not.  Whatever, as long as I get my baby.  So after giving them all our money (or my parents money) we were done and walking out the door with a load of samples, calendars and to-do's and not to-do's.  The next week we would be recieving a call from a Pharmacy out of CA that would be sending all of my medications for my shots.  The first two weeks I would be doing a shot every morning along with two medications. The week that I was expecting a call  from the Pharmacy I never recieved one and was to be starting the shot the following Monday.  So Friday I finally called and they told me they had no orders or anything for me.  I then called the clinic and talked to our IVF Coordinator who told me that she had sent the orders 3 times.  So she would send them again.  Not too long after talking to her I recieved a call from the Pharmacy.  It was a mess trying to figure out how we were going to get it there by Monday.  There was no rush orders to Vernal, we would have to drive two hours to like Colorado to get it.  Or we could recieve it Monday morning and I figured out that it could be delivered at my work and I could put it in the fridge there.  So Monday I waited all day.  I was supposed to be done with work at 3 and was still waiting for them.  I finally called the Pharmacy who called FedEx, who said because of snow storms and such they were running super behind and would be there in about an hour.  Gah!  It finally arrived at 4:30 and was on my way home.  Ugh, why were these things continually happening?  There was always something coming up and not working out.  Oh my gosh I was so done with this stress already.  I got home, which is a good 40 min drive from my work and opened up the box to find insanely HUGE needles.  Luckily the medication I would be using had the needles with it, just small insulin shots.  But I couldn't help but worry for the future that I'd have to be sticking those giant needles in me.  So I got the shot ready, gave myself a little pep talk and just as I was told I "stabbed with confidence."  Yes!  It didn't hurt!  I didn't even feel it!  I could so do this!  I felt so accomplished and so good that I had done it.  So that was the start of the next two weeks of morning shots.